Even Tolstoy, the great Russian author, understood the power of cinema. He was jealous of its limitless possibilities, compared with the written word, for combining editing, sound and image, and thought that film would be the artistic medium of the future. God knows what he would have thought after sitting though Transformers, The Last Knight.
Every year, more and more young people dream of becoming filmmakers. They come from all corners of the earth with their youthful exuberance and their daddies’ credit cards, enrolling at colleges across the country and buying textbooks written by their professors (i.e. bitter, failed film makers or critics with an axe to grind). On any given day, you can see students shooting footage for their class with their 8mm cameras around the city, putting their crews through the rigorous paces of the filmmaking process, dreaming of their name in lights; red carpet interviews on Entertainment Tonight, and repeated stints in rehab.
But unfortunately for most students, the history of cinema begins with The Hunger Games and such “film masters” as Brett Ratner and McG. Do they actually have the rudimentary knowledge needed to understand what drove even Tolstoy to distraction? Well, perhaps kids should take this simple introductory quiz to determine if they have what it takes to make the remake of That Darn Cat?
Sundance is:
- Robert Redford’s illegitimate daughter.
- The title of a Kelly Clarkson CD.
- A film festival in Utah.
Mise-en-scene is:
- A river in France.
- A French term referring to the placement of a film scene.
- The name of Kim Kardashian’s 2nd child.
- An Italian dish involving veal.
- A stuntman.
- One of the directors of Four Rooms.
A producer is:
- Visa.
- Dino de Laurentiis.
- A heterosexual.
An auteur is:
- A director of originality and style.
- A female actor.
- Mariah Carey’s new perfume.
Orson Welles was:
- A furniture outlet in New Jersey.
- A fat wine connoisseur.
- A maker of black-and-white films.
Fin is:
- A European way of saying “The End.”
- Part of a fish
- A nickname for Albert Finney.
Deep focus is:
- A proctology term.
- A 60’s psychedelic band.
- A camera technique in which the foreground and background are in equal focus.
An example of classic cinema is:
A pan is:
- A cooking implement.
- A shot in which the camera rotates horizontally.
- A critic’s reproach.
The Palme d’Or is:
- A Beverly Hills hotel.
- A French film award.
- A hand job.
The first “talkie” was:
“Cut!” is:
- A command by the director to the camera and film crew to stop.
- What producers beg Steven Spielberg to do.
- What European gentlemen are not.
A “best boy” is:
- Bryan Singer’s special friend.
- An assistant on a film.
- What some people call their dog.
If you could emulate any director who would it be?
- Martin Scorsese.
- Spike Lee.
- David Lynch.
- Claire Denis.
- Wong Kar-Wai.
- Tim Burton.
- Kathryn Bigelow.
- Jim Jarmusch.
- Joel & Ethan Coen.
- Wes Anderson.
Actually, it doesn’t matter who you pick from the last list because you’ll soon be stealing from all of them.
