One of the best defenses for using Botox (the act of injecting toxins in one’s face in order to smooth wrinkles) was made by a rather well-preserved friend of mine. We were talking about Botox and I asked, “why would you inject that poison into your face?” to which she cheerily replied, “why wouldn’t you?” I’ll admit in my head I’m still in my late 30s but when I look in the mirror (or am exposed to a photo taken of me) I cry out, “who is that hag?” However, I’ve resigned myself to decomposing with plenty of ill will, not surgery.
People crave youthfulness in such abnormal ways it’s frightening. One of my favorite cinematic explorations of the lengths people will go to stave off the ravages of time is Dumplings. It’s actually two films- one a short section in Three…Extremes, an omnibus film where three Asian directors were asked to submit a tale of terror. Prolific Japanese madman Takashi Miike’s (Audition) offering is Box about the mysterious murder of a circus contortionist who can fold into a tiny box on stage. South Korean director Park Chan-wook (Oldboy) is Cut, about a film director who returns home to find a madman who has tied up his wife, super-glued her fingers to the keys of the piano, and threatens to remove them one digit at a time (with a small axe) if the director doesn’t agree to his bloodthirsty demands. But the best selection is Hong Kong director Fruit Chan’s Dumplings, which he also expanded into a feature-length film. The endings differ in both versions, but both are equally sick and fabulous.
Based on a novella by Lillian Lee (Farewell My Concubine), Dumplings is about a middle-aged, former TV star (Miriam Yeung), married to a wealthy businessman (Tony Leung Ka-fai) who has lost interest in her. She goes to a seedy tenement to get the help of Aunt Mei (Bai Ling), a sexy cook who whips up exotic dumplings that have special rejuvenating power to make people look younger. The catch is that the dumplings are made from baby fetuses, which Auntie smuggles into the country in a tin lunch pail with a hidden compartment.
Bai Ling is sensual and offbeat and just terrific in the movie- dressed in tight Capri pants and flowered tops, constantly chewing sunflower seeds and spitting the shells on the floor, or rubbing her flour-coated hands over her curvaceous body while she cooks. Not since the movie Julie & Julia has the preparation of food been filmed with such erotic appreciation. Aunt Mei is supposedly 60-years-old but looks great because she partakes of her own dumplings. As macabre as it sounds, it plays out like a straightforward melodrama. The cinematography is extraordinary, not surprising since it’s by director Wong Kar-Wai’s frequent collaborator- Christopher Doyle.
The wife gets side effects from her unusual “beauty’ treatment- she starts to smell “fishy” to her girlfriends while lunching with them. The reason: the wife demands quicker results and Auntie uses a fully-formed fetus explaining: “The 5th month ones are perfect- kitten-like. So cute and nutritious.” But because the fetus was from an incest victim there are some unexpected consequences.
In the shorter version- the wife is abandoned by her husband and there’s some nasty business with her in a tub at the end where she licks her lips with a supernaturally long tongue darting from her mouth. In the feature film- she extracts revenge on her husband by purchasing the unborn baby sired by his mistress. She raises a cleaver to it at the end with a victorious and malicious smile.
Now I’ve seen a lot of bizarre Asian films but this one left me slack-jawed. Lions Gate released Three…Extremes in theaters, but the feature Dumplings only came out on Asian and import DVDs. Later in the States it was released on DVD from Tartan Asia Extreme, but it’s been out-of-print for years and goes for hundreds of dollars on eBay.
My secret fantasy is to sneakily screen this in front of an unsuspecting audience at a packed Right-To-Life convention. Imagine the coronaries. Unfortunately it also would probably cause some creepy online conspiracy-theory-loving talk show host to rally his rabid, gullible followers to rise up in arms against the (imagined) use of fetuses as rejuvenating snacks.
For those annoyed when they encounter ill-tempered, rambunctious, entitled children, this movie can have you deliciously imagine them, in fetal form, simmering in a bowl of broth with some slivers of sliced ginger. And with the added bonus of making you look 20 years younger afterwards.
Three…Extremes is available on Amazon Prime and Dumplings is available on Amazon’s Prime Video Channels Subscription.
Eating Heen will never be the same for me.