Let me just say something about villains. I’ve known a few real ones in my lifetime, and occasionally in relationships I have been one. But in movies I think they get a bum rap. Since the early days of kinescopes audiences have enjoyed hissing at the the Simon Legree character twirling his mustache as he ties the heroine to the railroad tracks. But where would a “hero” be without his nemesis? Where would Sherlock Holmes be without Moriarty? Who would you root for without the villain? And often in films they get blamed for things that are, quite frankly, out of their control. So here’s my list of movie villains I consider have gotten a raw deal.
The Wicked Witch (Wizard Of Oz). Dorothy killed her sister, for God’s sake. If you had an army of flying monkeys at your disposal wouldn’t you send them out to avenge your family’s honor?
The Monster (Frankenstein) You try imagining waking up from a dirt nap to find yourself stitched together from strange body parts with bolts sticking out of your neck and see if you don’t feel like throttling villagers.
Cruela De Vil (101 Dalmatians) She was right. A coat made out of the hides of 101 Dalmatians would be quite fabulous.
Mrs. Danvers (Rebecca) That mousy, gullible, annoying, new bride (Joan Fontaine) was not fit to step into the high heels, or sleep in the same bed, of the first Mrs. de Winter, and needed to be taught a fiery lesson.
Jack The Ripper (The Lodger) He was only trying to clean up White Chapel of the rampant prostitution and vice. Perhaps he was a tad over zealous. But so was Rudy Gulianni.
Nurse Ratched (One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest) You try working at those crummy wages all those hours and monitor a bunch of dangerous crazies every day and see if you don’t feel like giving everyone a lobotomy just to shut them up.
Hannibal Lecter (The Silence Of The Lambs) Have you ever eaten a human liver? Maybe it does go down good with fava beans and a nice chianti…
Phyllis Dietrichson (Double Indemnity) You wanted your husband bumped off and this insurance guy (Fred MacMurray) walked right in your front door ogling your ankle bracelet looking like the perfect sap for the job. I ask you- what’s a femme fatale to do?
Eve Harrington (All About Eve) How else do you get a foot in the door of the entertainment industry without trickery, deceit, dishonesty, and disloyalty? Besides, she ended up with the coveted Sarah Siddons Award in the end.
Max Cady (Cape Fear/1962) That pious, upstanding, member of the community (Gregory Peck) testified against you at trial and landed you an 8-year stretch in jail, fending off sexual predators and fighting for your life. Who wouldn’t want to give the guy’s family a little payback? Besides, the daughter’s a dish.
Rhoda Penmark (The Bad Seed) Little evil moppet Rhoda deserved that damn penmanship award, and if she had to drown classmate Claude Daigle (after smacking him down with her tap shoe), may lightening strike her dead if he didn’t have it coming.
The Joker (Batman) If you looked like Reba McEntire every time you looked in the mirror wouldn’t you want to cause mayhem and mass destruction?
Mrs. Iselin (The Manchurian Candidate/1962) If we could brainwash our children and successfully turn them into little killing machines why wouldn’t we?
Darth Vader (Star Wars) He lost his limbs to Obi-Wan’s light sabers, is nearly burned alive, told that his wife was murdered, encased in a black armored suit and given the voice of James Earl Jones. Is it any wonder he’s a tad testy?
Baby Jane Hudson (Whatever Happened To Baby Jane?) As it turns out her own sister (Joan Crawford) crippled herself to begin with, and Jane had to leave show business to take care of her all these long years. Who wouldn’t slap on tons of makeup, reach for the gin bottle, and take a hammer to the nosey maid?
The Gollum (Lord Of The Rings) So, he had a ring fetish. So did Elizabeth Taylor- but you did’t throw her into lava.
Captain Hook (Peter Pan) Look, an alligator bit off his hand, a cross dressing flying brat (Peter Pan) kept bugging him, that rotten little girl Wendy was stirring things up with the Indians, and his own pirate gang was a bunch of incompetent morons. It’s enough to make you walk your own plank.
The Queen (Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs) It’s hard enough hanging on to the crown of “fairest of them all” without that mirror always showing the face of that helium-voiced, goody two-shoes- Snow White. And what’s Snow White doing with a bunch of creepy dwarfs all living together in the same house in the forest to begin with? It’s just not right. Get out the poisoned apples!
Frank Booth (Blue Velvet) Anyone who’s obsessed with Roy Orbison, laughing gas, crushed velvet and Isabella Rossellini can’t be all bad.
The Great White Shark (Jaws) He’s a shark. What’s he supposed to eat? Tofu?