(I was so upset to hear that the great Hong Kong actor Simon Yam was stabbed on stage in China by some paranoid schizophrenic that I decided to resurrect an article I wrote about Category III films- which Simon acted in a few of. Every report only mentions that he was in Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, when in fact he’s made over 100 movies- and given amazing performances in many of them.)
For many years directors like Quentin Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez and the Wachowskis have openly acknowledged their indebtedness to Hong Kong cinema. Stars like Chow Yun-Fat, Jackie Chan, Jet Li, Michelle Yeoh and directors like the great John Woo successfully crossed over and helped transform American movies. But I’ve always been obsessed with a certain substratum of Hong Kong cinema- films classified as Category III, an adults-only classification due to excessive sex and violence. Often based on true crime stories, I think the proliferation of these movies in the 90s was considered an embarrassment, and Hong Kong purists dismissed much of the genre as schlock. But I just love them, and have decided to offer up some of my (politically incorrect) favorites in the Category III substratum. Seek out any of the following and you’ll discover that, as always, the best things in life are always fabulously fucked-up.
Dr. Lamb (1992) This grisly shocker, based on a true crime, stars Simon Yam as a deranged cabbie living in an overcrowded apartment who kills and dissects “bad” women, believing he’s on a mission from God. Danny Lee (who co-directed), plays the cop who catches and brutally interrogates him. The scene in which the madman dismembers a victim with a buzz saw, bits of gore landing in the fish tank, is a real chunk-blower. Yam is a chameleon on screen, from the puking, lovesick, cop in Naked Killer (1992) to the villainous gay gangster in Full Contact (1992). He’s quite terrifying here, howling at the moon as he kills.
The Eternal Evil Of Asia (1995) A bunch of guys partying in Thailand piss off a powerful wizard named Laimi (Ben Ng from Red To Kill) when they accidentally kill his sister. Laimi transforms one man’s head into a penis (which pisses out of his forehead when he’s scared) and hunts the rest down in China using assorted gruesome hexes. The fiancee of the sole survivor eventually battles Laimi- the finale (where she has to have oral sex with her invisible adversary) has to be seen to be believed.
Raped By An Angel 4: The Raper’s Union (1999) The films in the notorious “Raped By An Angel” series (no, not starring Della Reese) were supposed sequels to the cult hit Naked Killer (1992), but they have nothing to do with that film. Part four is the looniest. An ex-CIA operative (Ben Ng) helps other rapists escape from jail and starts a gang, trapping and torturing women in his high-tech home. Anthony Wong (The Untold Story) shows up as a “human milk-drinking doctor,” the “ancestor of all rapists” who works in a porn theater and bites the nipple of the male investigating officer.
Run And Kill (1993) Billy Tang directed the most ferociously nasty of the Category III films, such as Dr. Lamb and Red To Kill, but this is my favorite. Poor Fatty (Kent Cheng) catches his wife in bed with another man and then drunkenly orders a hit on her at a bar. After Vietnamese thugs murder her they demand their money, which he can’t pay. Simon Yam plays a deranged war vet who sets Fatty’s young daughter on fire and then mockingly holds the charred remains in front of him and says, “Daddy. I am so dark. Can you still recognize me?”
Robotrix (1991) Wild, sexed-up RoboCop-inspired action film about a policewoman, fatally wounded in a shoot-out, who has her memories put into a curvaceous robotic creation to combat an evil Japanese mastermind. A highlight is another robot (buxom Amy Yip) posing as a prostitute having rather enthusiastic sex with her customers.
Sex & Zen (1991) Hong Kong softcore sex comedy set in the Ming Dynasty and based on the “Prayer Mat of the Flesh” about a scholar (Lawrence Ng) who finds himself lacking in his sexual equipment. He enlists a magical doctor who successfully transplants a horse’s member onto him (that scene alone will leave you howling, or whinnying).
The Intruder (1997) A bone-chilling tale of a taxi driver (Wayne Lai) held bound and captive in his country home by a psychotic woman with a nefarious secret agenda. You don’t even want to know what she’s got in store for the poor soul! Woe to those who knock on his door- like a nagging granny or his young daughter (who gets buried alive outside).
Erotic Ghost Story II (1991) The sexual exploits of evil spirit Wu Tang (Anthony Wong, complete with white fright wig, kabuki makeup and penis-shaped tail), who forces villagers to feed him a steady diet of virgins. Imagine blue midget magicians, underwater sex scenes, chintzy costumes and lots of Lawrence Welk bubbles. The finale sees the virginal heroine melting the block of ice encasing her boyfriend with her nude body.
The Untold Story 2 (1996) A henpecked restaurant owner gets more than he bargained for from visiting relative Fung (Paulyn Suen) of mainland China who’s severely unhinged (she sets fire to a woman who annoys her at the airport). Fung quickly murders the owner’s promiscuous wife, cuts her up in the bathtub and serves her as barbecue.
Don’t Stop My Crazy Love For You (1993) A TV anchorwoman (Yvonne Hung Yung) does battle with a crazed fan, played convincingly by Simon Yam (Dr. Lamb), who utters the immortal line: “You shot my dicky!”
The Untold Story (aka Bunman) (1992) Anthony Wong stars as Wong Chi Hang, who is arrested and beaten by the police until he confesses that he viciously slaughtered the entire Chen family, hacked them up with a cleaver and grinded their bodies into pork buns which he served in their Chinese restaurant. The irritating comic relief of the bumbling cops comes to a screaming halt when the film flashes back to the massacre, which is unbelievably horrific.
Passion Unbounded (1995) Twisted romance starring Carrie Ng (the vicious lesbian hit woman in the cult classic Naked Killer) who plays a femme fatale sex murderer who bumps off both men and women (she even kills a man in a disco bathroom stall with her silver stiletto heel). But she finds true love with her handsome epileptic neighbor, who also shares her homicidal hankerings. Together they cuddle on the couch drinking beers and watching slide shows of their victims.
Red To Kill ((1993) Muscle-bound Ben Ng is chilling as a Jekyll-and-Hyde psycho who works in a facility for the mentally handicapped but goes bonkers when he sees the color red (a la Marnie), which causes him to rape and kill women. When he assaults the mildly mentally-challenged Ming-Ming (Lily Chung) and is outrageously acquitted during the trial, it’s up to a female social worker to get revenge. She dresses up entirely in red and even orders Bloody Marys at a bar in front of him, which makes him so berserk he runs home and dumps ice cubes down his briefs.
Horrible High Heels (1996) Investigating the disappearance of a cobbler, the police discover the high-heeled shoes in his factory are made of human skin. The hooded, scar-faced killer also delights in cutting holes in the mouths of women’s photos and attaching them to a goose which he then fucks.
Remains Of A Woman (1993) A police drug raid on the apartment of Billy (James Pax) and Judy (Carrie Ng) uncovers a metal container containing the remains of an air hostess dissolving in acid. The young couple are arrested and, after a heavily publicized trial, thrown in jail. But a young Bible student (Loletta Lee) tries to convert Billy and get him released. Carrie Ng is heartbreaking as the lovesick girlfriend, and the scene in which Billy and Judy recall their wild coke binge and murder is harrowing.
A Chinese Torture Chamber Story (1994) During the Chin Dynasty, Little Cabbage (Yvonne Hung Yung), a concubine, and her former master, pharmacist Yang (Lawrence Ng), are on trial for murdering Little Cabbage’s husband with “aphrodisiac.” They are repeatedly tortured to confess to the crime by a judge who knows they are innocent (his own son and Yang’s wife are the killers). This one flabbergasted me. It has everything- sex, torture, comedy, kung-fu- even invisible rapist ghosts, exploding penises, and a ninja couple who fly through the air while having sex.
Daughter Of Darkness (1993) More true crime-inspired sleaze about a sexually abused girl (Lily Chung) who massacres her entire family. Anthony Wong plays the loutish cop investigating the case. He sniffs the crotches of the corpses and sensitively asks the girl while standing over the bodies, “Do all your family have big tits?”
Ebola Syndrome (1996) Sick, offensive and unbelievably hilarious, this toxic gem stars Anthony Wong as a killer so loathsome he slits a woman’s throat, kills her husband with a mahjong table, and douses their little girl with gasoline- all before the opening credits. The killer flees to South Africa, where he works in a Chinese restaurant cutting up frogs and masturbating into the meat. While buying pigs for the restaurant from a Zulu tribe, he rapes a dying woman who infects him with Ebola. He becomes an infectious carrier, spreading the disease through numerous bodily fluids. He hacks up his employers, serves them as hamburgers and then flees to Hong Kong as the health epidemic rages. In a jaw-dropping finale, he races through the streets with a child under one arm, waving a meat cleaver, spitting gobs of infected phlegm at people while shouting triumphantly: “Ebola!”
