The irony is not lost on me. I’ve been under “house arrest” with a fractured ankle for over 5 months, and the minute I can get out the door the whole city shuts down and I have to scurry back indoors, washing my hands until they bleed. I sure know what it is to “self-isolate,” but I have to admit streaming movies on cable has saved my sanity. I had to make peace with all of that and make the best of it. Vodka “quarantinis” help. But, also, sifting through the search engine of YouTube for rare made-for-TV movies, that amused me in the 1970s, which have been hard to track down on home media. I was always hesitant doing an article about this for fear it would get the movies yanked off. But now- what the hell. So here are a few crackpot made-for-TV favorites that might make social distancing easier to bear.
How Awful About Allan (1970) Curtis Harrington directed this offbeat thriller from a script by Henry Farrell (Whatever Happened To Baby Jane?) which stars Anthony Perkins as Allan, a young man who suffered psychosomatic blindness after a fire that consumed his abusive father. He returns home from a mental institution, apparently cured, to his sister (Julie Harris), only to be repeatedly terrorized by a mysterious, shadowy figure that makes him doubt his sanity.
Alexander: The Other Side Of Dawn (1977) The sequel to the ratings-gobbler Dawn: Portrait Of A Teenage Runaway (featuring The Brady Bunch’s Eve Plumb as a teen hooker), this sleazefest stars Leigh McCloskey as a young male prostitute in L.A. who’s trying to break free from escorting when he gets involved with a closeted gay football player.
Scream, Pretty Peggy (1973) A sculptor (That Girl’s Ted Bessell) hires a college girl (Sian Barbara Allen) to care for his ailing mother (Bette Davis) and his deranged sister, in this howler that will have you spit-taking your cocktail during the last 10 minutes.
Satan’s School For Girls (1973) While investigating her sister’s mysterious death, Pamela Franklin discovers that the girl’s school is a secret coven of devil worshipers headed by Roy Thinnes. (Shelley Winters hilariously popped up in a few of these satanic girl school TV movies like The Initiation Of Sarah and The Devil’s Daughter that need to be seen to be believed).
Like Normal People (1979) I know I’m going to hell for continuously laughing through this supposedly-poignant drama of a mentally challenged couple (Shaun Cassidy and Linda Purl), who, despite strenuous objections from their family, are determined to get married and start a family.
Devil Dog: The Hound Of Hell (1978) Richard Crenna and Yvette Mimieux adopt a pooch, only to find it’s the son of Satan. You try house-training the devil’s lap dog.
Rescue From Gilligan’s Island (1978) Oh, sit right back and you’ll hear a tale about the famous TV castaways who are finally rescued after 15 years, only to annoyingly get shipwrecked on another island at the end. Tina Louise wisely chose to miss this boat.
Something Evil (1972) An early movie, effectively directed by Steven Spielberg (after his ground-breaking TV thriller Duel) starring Darren McGavin and Sandy Dennis as a couple who move into a Pennsylvania farmhouse which is possessed by evil. The wife desperately tries to get protective charms from a neighbor familiar with the occult (Ralph Bellamy), and hears strange baby cries in the dead of night.
Curse Of The Black Widow (1977) Someone in L.A. is turning into a giant spider. Is it Donna Mills, Patty Duke, June Lockhart or “Depend” spokesperson June Allyson? I rate this eight thumbs up!
Satan’s Triangle (1975) A coast guard helicopter pilot (Doug McClure) responds to a distress SOS call and finds a ship with three dead bodies and a lone survivor (Kim Novak), who recounts her frightful tale about an ill-fated trip through the Bermuda Triangle. Memorably eerie TV movie with a devilish twist.
The Cat Creature (1973) Curtis Harrington directed this goofy chiller, with a script by Robert Bloch (Psycho) and peppered with wonderful character actors (Gale Sondergaard, Keye Luke, Kent Smith and John Carradine). The plot is about a stolen, ancient amulet that contains a curse, transforming a beautiful woman into a vengeance-seeking cat-creature.
Sweet Hostage (1975) Martin Sheen plays a loon who escapes from an asylum and kidnaps an illiterate farm-girl (Linda Blair) with a love of rattlesnake tails. Can this on-the-run couple survive? Hell, no. But the movie will leave you laughing with Stockholm Syndrome.
The Loneliest Runner (1976) Michael Landon wrote and directed this semi-autobiographical story of a bedwetter who goes on to become an Olympic runner. With Lance Kerwin, Melissa Sue Anderson and several soiled sheets.
Dead Of Night (1977) Dan Curtis struck gold with the TV-movie sensation Trilogy Of Terror. Here is another horror omnibus, but the best is the final story- “Bobby” written by Richard Matheson (The Incredible Shrinking Man). It stars the fabulous Joan Hackett as a grieving mother who uses black magic at her seaside home to bring back from her dead young son Bobby (Lee H. Montgomery). Boy, does he come back, chasing his frightened mom around the house during a stormy night, trying to kill her. Go, Bobby, go!
Killer Bees (1974) Director Curtis Harrington directed this camp favorite about the malevolent matriarch (Gloria Swanson) of a California family of wine-growers, who also has supernatural power over a colony of bees. Seeing Sunset Boulevard’s Gloria Swanson dancing around the front porch in a big hat, covered with bees she is cooing to, makes life worth living.
Thank you Dennis! Just watched Scream, Pretty Peggy and it made my day. I consider this article a public service during trying times!
Hi Dennis. Great list here! I was just wondering: What’s in a vodka quarantini? My thoughts are that it would be vodka over ice, combined with anything you might have in your cupboard with even the remote possibility of becoming a drink ingredient, and then shaken, not stirred???? Something else? Thanks!