What Series Would Jesus Watch?

            Now, I wonder what series Jesus would stream if he was stuck inside during this rotten pandemic? You can imagine how much he would want to participate in some kind of a gathering. It certainly must be disheartening for him to watch the news to see a cop kneeling, not in prayer, but on some poor man’s neck. Would he secretly want to run out at night to protest?  I can’t quite picture Christ looting a Chanel store, but who knows how frustrating it must be to see that things haven’t changed much since that jerk Pontius Pilate ruled. Now Jesus certainly would pose a health risk, considering he was born around 4BC and most assuredly has back problems. (You lug a giant wooden cross up Fifth Avenue and see how you feel). So, staying inside is probably prudent. But what to watch on TV?

            Jeffrey Epstein: Filthy Rich, now streaming on Netflix, would probably fascinate and move Christ more than those white trashy characters in Tiger King. The four-part series by director Lisa Bryant is as riveting as it is horrific. It’s hard not to be dumbstruck at the kind of wealth and political connections that could protect a scumbag billionaire like Jeffrey Epstein and allow him to corrupt scores of young girls, scarring them for life. Sure, it is tough to watch. But the courage of the women who stood up to Epstein, despite the relentless threats and fear-tactics he perpetrated, is inspiring. It’s a shocking story of abuse of power and the appalling lack of justice many victims face in this country. I think it would piss Jesus off big time. 

            Perhaps some good dark-humored laughter is in order? Jesus might want to catch up with the third season of Killing Eve on AMC. This show about an FBI operative Eve (Sandra Oh) and her unhealthy obsession with a colorful hit woman- Villanelle (Jodie Comer) continues to amuse and astonish. To watch the interactions between Sandra Oh and Jodie Comer make for thrilling television. They both are absolutely sensational. This season really gives an opportunity for the sublime Fiona Shaw to shine, not to mention great turns for actress Harriet Walter and the fabulous Danish actor Kim Bodnia. There was one episode where Villanelle travels to Russia to meet her birth mother- “Are You From Pinner?” that is one of the most amazing, darkly hilarious hours I’ve ever seen on television. This season was critically dismissed and I think that’s completely unjustified. The finale of the third season is just sardonically perfect. 

            Jesus might need a good mystery after that. He night stay on Netflix and catch up with a great Finnish series called Bordertown. If just to watch the wonderful quirky antics of actor Ville Virtanen as the detective Kari, who has moved his wife and daughter to a small town near the Russian border so his wife can recuperate after a serious illness. Virtanen’s detective comes from a long line of oddball, almost-on-the-cusp-of-Asperger, detectives, who arranges all the clues on a board in his basement, removes his shoes and digs in, carefully sifting through the evidence to catch killers. In the latest season, the wife’s brain cancer has returned and she is shielding her family from it. All this makes the daughter really act out eventually, and Kari meets his match with an elusive killer from the past. This incredibly suspenseful show might whet Jesus’s appetite for more mystery.

            Over on Acorn is a stunning British mini-series- Deadwater Fell, about a tragic fire one night that results in the death a mother and her daughters. The husband/father survives (David Tennant), but an investigation by his cop friend (Matthew McNulty) uncovers some disturbing evidence that suggests the wife deliberately set the fire and purchased a lock to trap her children in after drugging the whole family. As this four-part series continues, many secrets and lies are revealed, but the performance by David Tennant is just chillingly unforgettable.

            But if Jesus stays on Acorn he can revel in the delightful French series Balthazar with a sexy, hilarious Tomer Sisley as the nattily-dressed forensic pathologist Raphael Balthazar. He works closely with the troubled police commissioner Helene (played with sly beauty by Helene de Fougerolles.) When Balthazar does his autopsies, the ghosts of the victims are in the room and he converses with them, trying to divine clues as to the cause of their deaths and find justice for them. Balthazar is a arrogant, handsome, and very entertaining character but he is also haunted by the unsolved murder of his fiancé. In the latest season, Helene and Balthazar legally re-open the case of his girlfriend’s murder, and unfortunately the killer comes out of hiding after them. There are several hair-raising episodes when Balthazar and Helene cheat death in this delightful, incredibly suspenseful series.

            I hope Jesus subscribes to HBO because then he can catch up with the 6-part mini-series I Know This Much Is True, based on the brilliant, devastating novel by Wally Lamb. I can proudly say I went to high school with Wally Lamb at Norwich Free Academy, in Connecticut, and he was just the nicest guy. But I was unprepared when I read his first novel She’s Come Undone. It was so funny and bittersweet and moving it just blew my mind. But then came the larger opus- I Know This Much Is True, about twins growing up in Connecticut, one of them tragically a schizophrenic. It was a heart-ripper of a book- and the words were razor sharp, vividly descriptive and passionately alive on the page. Director Derek Cianfrance (Blue Valentine) really captured a lot of the anger and hurt of the book, but it’s Mark Ruffalo’s electrifying performance (s) as the tormented twins that leaves you stunned. Jesus may need to turn some water into wine to get through some of the more heartbreaking parts.

            I wonder what Jesus would make of Ryan Murphy’s Hollywood on Netflix? A revisionist, what-if, look at Hollywood in the 1950s with an incredible cast, lots of salacious, gossipy fun, and ultimately a wistful gaze at what might have been if gay actors like Rock Hudson (Jake Picking) could have come out-of-the-closet, wives of studio heads (Patti LuPone) could have run a studio and greenlit films by half-Filipino directors (Darren Criss) and had the guts to star an African American actress (Laura Harrier) in the lead. I’m sorry, just seeing Anna Mae Wong (Michelle Krusiec) win an Academy Award brought tears to my eyes. And watching greats like Holland Taylor as a casting director, Dylan McDermott as a pimp running a gas station with hunks that service the stars, Joe Mantello as an emotionally conflicted executive, Jim Parsons as the bitchy, predatory agent Henry Wilson, handsome David Corenswet as a war veteran and aspiring actor, was a real treat. I got sick of arguing with friends who didn’t like the show. I think they just didn’t get what it was trying to be, or, even if they did, just couldn’t go with it. Maybe Jesus would give Ryan Murphy two-thumbs up for daring to dream.

(Many thanks to photographer Chad Hunt for the cover photo.)