It distresses me to hear all the arguments concerning straight actors playing gay roles. Those who think only gay actors should be offered gay roles are also limiting gay actors at what they are allowed to play. I thought it was called “acting.” That digging into other characters was the challenge and satisfaction of the craft itself.
Do you have to get married, have children and then stab them to death in order to play Medea? How about- only real hunchbacks need apply for Richard III? And unless you’re a real salesman, don’t even think about trying out for that Arthur Miller play.
I love what actress Cate Blanchett (who played a lesbian in the movie Carol) had to say: “I will fight to the death for the right to suspend disbelief and play roles beyond my experience.”
I am actually grateful for all the hot straight men who have played gay characters on the silver screen and on television. Their presence gave hours of fantasy time imagining them actually locking lips with another man in the real world. And isn’t that what movies are in many ways- fantasy? So, I’ve compiled a list of some real spank bank celluloid heroes. And to all the straight male actors who channeled gay, I thank you for your service:
Heath Ledger. It pisses me off that we are deprived of the dizzying talent of Heath Ledger now that he is gone. But I wish I could quit the bittersweet memory of him as the lovelorn cowboy in Brokeback Mountain.
Keanu Reeves. For all of us who have imagined polishing John’s wick, at least we can fantasize Keanu Reeves as a male prostitute in My Own Private Idaho. And conjuring the thrill of driving up while he leans suggestively against a stop sign, rolling down the window, and saying: “Get in!”
Chiwetel Eijiofor. The frighteningly handsome Eijiofor let down his hair to play the proud, fearless drag queen Lola in the inspiration for the hit Broadway musical Kinky Boots. It would be fun to imagine him trading barbs with other queens on RuPaul’s Drag Race.
Armie Hammer. Hammer looks like every straight jock that beat you up in high school. So what better revenge than imagining them mooning over a young boy like he did in Call Me By Your Name?
Ryan Phillippe. The reason to buy the unrated Blu-ray director’s cut of the film 54 (about the legendary nightclub) is to see the cut scene of lanky, tousled blonde Ryan Phillippe’s brief liplock with a co-worker (Breckin Meyer).
Anthony Mackie. The Harlem Renaissance comes thrillingly to life in Rodney Evans’ evocative and profoundly moving feature film Brother To Brother. Anthony Mackie plays Perry, a student and artist, estranged from his family for being gay, whose chance meeting with an elderly homeless man and former Renaissance poet (beautifully portrayed by Roger Robinson), opens his eyes to issues of race, identity and pride. This is your chance to imagine Marvel Comics “Falcon” character flying his rainbow flag.
Paul Newman. In the neutered movie version of Tennessee Williams’ Cat On A Hot Tin Roof, why the hell won’t the gorgeous blue-eyed Paul Newman sleep with his sexy wife (played by voluptuous Elizabeth Taylor)? And why is he drinking so much? Because he’s a frustrated fag, that’s why. Although you’d never really get this from the film, which censored the explicit gay content in the play.
Gael Garcia Bernal. We got the tease of gay passion with Diego Luna in Y Tu Mama Tambien, but Gael Garcia Bernal really got to gay it up as a drag performer who gets revenge on the priest who abused him in Pedro Almodovar’s exquisite Bad Education.
Harry Hamlin. Any of us who were turned on by the toga-wearing bubble-lipped cutie Harry Hamlin in Clash Of The Titans really got to go wild seeing him making out with Michael Ontkean in Making Love. This movie may have hurt Hamlin’s career but many closeted gay men are grateful that this Hallmark-Homo-Movie even exists.
Ian Somerhalder. Ian Somerhalder may have a genetic mutation that makes his eyes that iridescent light blue color, but, boy, they sure were sexy in the corrosively funny dark satire- The Rules Of Attraction, about college life at a 1980s New England liberal arts college, based on the book by Brett Easton Ellis (Less Than Zero). Somerhalder plays a scheming gay student relentlessly trying to get James Van Der Beek into the sack. Now that’s higher education.
Sebastian Stan. For all of us who saw the Captain America movies and thought something was definitely going on between Stan’s Bucky Barnes character and Steve Rogers (Chris Evans), we finally get to see him make out with a man on the roof in The Architect.
Tony Leung Chiu-wai. The lean, impossibly good-looking Tony Leung Chiu-wai, with his chiseled, aquiline face, has always been brilliant in so many Asian films. But in Wong Kar Wai’s bittersweet Happy Together, his sweaty, turbulent break up with a boyfriend (Leslie Cheung), conjured up lots of impure thoughts of being in the mood for love.
Terence Stamp. The talented actor Terence Stamp was at the height of his almost supernatural beauty as the sexy, mysterious stranger who shows up to stay with an upper-class family in Italy in Pier Paolo Pasolini’s cinematic parable- Teorema. In the movie he sleeps with everyone in the household, leaves, and they all go bonkers. That’s understandable from watching him lounging around in his underwear in the film.
Ewan McGregor. McGregor seems like the kind of actor who wouldn’t bat an eye about playing a gay role, as he did in I Love You Phillip Morris. But I really got turned on by his performance as the glam rocker in Velvet Goldmine, especially making out with a reporter (Christian Bale) near the end of the film. This film always seemed like director Todd Haynes’ wet dream about what really happened between Iggy Pop and David Bowie when they collaborated on music together.
Matt Damon. Sure, the hunky, talented Matt Damon looked great in the shower scene in School Ties, but imagining him dropping the soap for Liberace (Michael Douglas) in Behind The Candelabra was disturbingly titillating.
Daniel Radcliffe. Oh, come on, you’ve got to admit it’s a kick watching Harry Potter have anal sex, as Beat-poet Allen Ginsberg, in Kill Your Darlings.
Paul Rudd. There’s always been something so cool, smart, good natured and funny about actor Paul Rudd. And fuckable too. It’s too bad he had to play gay in the groaner- The Object Of My Affection– starring Jennifer Anniston as his pregnant, fag-hag best friend.
Christopher Meloni. Sure, the ruggedly handsome Christopher Meloni was sensational as officer Benson’s (Mariska Hargitay) partner on Law And Order SVU for many seasons but I still can’t get the image of him, nude, pissing in a bucket in the astonishing HBO prison show Oz. For many, this was the first time they encountered the charismatic actor and his turbulent love scenes with a fellow prisoner (Lee Tergesen) still have the power to disturb dreams.
Rami Malek. Bohemian Rhapsody, about the life of British rock band Queen’s lead singer Freddie Mercury, was a surprise award-winning hit at the box office. Much of it thanks to the mercurial, sexual energy of actor Rami Malek, which made you wish he was singing “We Will Fuck You” instead of “Rock You.”
Benedict Cumberbatch. There’s always been a fantasy about the private life of fictional detective Sherlock Holmes (who Bendedict Cumberbatch brought eccentrically to life in the wildly enjoyable British TV series based on Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s deductive sleuth). And while Cumberbatch played a nerdy, brainy closeted gay genius in The Imitation Game, it’s nice to imagine his tongue down the throat of Dr. Watson (Martin Freeman). It’s elementary, my dear…
I still cry over Heath Ledger. Brokeback Mountain was a masterpiece.
Who knew???