Smart, sexy, sublimely funny, Stella Stevens used her curvaceous body as the ultimate joke that she was in on. I always get annoyed when I mention her name and friends only know her as the woman with the big platform shoes in The Poseidon Adventure. She was so much more. In Sam Peckinpah’s The Ballad of Cable Hogue (where she got some of her best reviews) the camera, unfortunately, lasciviously objectifies her. When Jason Roberts sees her for the first time the camera dollies in to a close-up of her breasts, repeatedly. And later, when he discovers she’s a prostitute and visits her upstairs room the camera makes a beeline for her crotch, where her underwear sports her name “Hildy” embroidered inside a heart. But critics saw through to her terrific performance. Roger Ebert said that Stella Stevens “makes Hildy an altogether individual woman, perhaps the first Women’s Libber west of the Pecos.”
Two really bizarre films she starred in have come out on Blu-ray and I couldn’t wait to get my grubby hands on them.
Arnold (Vinegar Syndrome) is a 1973 Grand Guignol dark comedy with a terrific opening. A funeral of a wealthy eccentric Lord Arnold Dwellyn (Norman Stuart) doubles as a wedding of the corpse to sexy gold-digger Karen (Stella Stevens). Meanwhile all his money-grubbing relatives gather, plotting to bump off the bride. According to Arnold’s will if Karen remains faithful to him she will retain his money, and there are strong hints there is a fortune hidden somewhere in his mansion.
With a fabulously eccentric cast- Victor Buono as the sweaty minister officiating the bizarre marriage to a corpse. Elsa Lanchester as Arnold’s dotty sister, and other scheming relatives like Roddy McDowall, Shani Wallis and Farley Granger. Not to mention a mysterious turban-wearing servant (Jamie Farr).
You’d think this would be a lot of fun as the relatives mysteriously get bumped off one after another in loony ways- poisoned face-cream; a diabolical killer suit; a constricting shower stall. But it just falls flat. It’s not that it isn’t watchable. And the cast does the very best they can. Stella Stevens as the bubbly, duplicitous wife of Arnold is a delight. But anyone expecting a horror comedy in the vein of Theater of Blood will be severely disappointed. The director Georg Fenady had better luck with TV episodes for Baywatch, Mission Impossible and Knight Rider. God forgive me, but I have a thing for black comedies that fall flat for some reason- they fascinate me for some masochistic reason. And boy, does Arnold fall into that category. However, the film has been extremely rare- it came out on VHS eons ago but this Vinegar Syndrome’s Blu-ray is restored in 4K from its 35mm interpositive and looks sensational. It has brand new commentary by author Mike White and another fun extra: “The Gothic Horror Comedy in Hollywood.” I have to admit I was overjoyed when this stupid movie came in the mail.
The Mad Room (Imprint) is somewhat based on Ladies in Retirement (1941) but offers Stella Stevens one of her best roles, as Ellen Hardy, the efficient, organized and incredibly patient live-in assistant to a demanding, difficult, but extremely wealthy widow- Mrs. Armstrong (Shelley Winters). Ellen is also engaged to Mrs. Armstrong’s handsome architect son Sam (Skip Ward). Everything seems perfect in her life until she gets a letter from an asylum housing her teenage brother George and sister Mandy. When they were children they were arrested for butchering their parents and drawing daisies on the walls with their blood. They have been institutionalized and have reached the age where can be released, but only in the custody of a relative. No one knows Ellen’s violent past history and suddenly she is forced to take them in, coming up with a cover story that the Uncle who has been caring for her siblings died and now they have nowhere to go. Mrs. Armstrong begrudgingly allows them to stay. But are the two really cured? What about the family dog wandering around with a dismembered hand in its mouth?
Shelley is hilarious as the blowsy, bitchy widow who is too pre-occupied by frequent sexual dalliances with a handsome masseur and planning a museum to be built in her late husband’s honor to notice the two strange young interlopers. And the young brother and sister are played by talented Michael Burns (That Cold Day in the Park) and Barbara Sammeth (Stand Alone). They exude just the right kind of weirdness to make them suspicious.
Filmed in British Columbia, the 1969 movie looks great (especially on Blu-ray) and it’s a joy to watch Stella Stevens as she frantically descends into madness, desperately attempting to keep the truth from coming out.
Beverly Garland is riotously memorable as the boozy wife of the cheating masseur and has a great scene where she embarrassingly causes a huge scene at a ladies’ lunch.
Expertly directed by Bernard Girard (Dead Heat on a Merry-Go-Round/What Ever Happened to Aunt Alice?) this is kind of psycho-thriller I have always loved, with crackpot twists and gory over-the-top reveals.
Sadly, Stella Stevens died in Feb. of 2023 at age 84 from complications from Alzheimer’s. Her son is the handsome actor, producer and director- Andrew Stevens. This film previously was only available as an on-Demand DVD from Columbia, this 1969 film has always been a guilty pleasure of mine and I love showing it to friends to prove how supremely talented and under-rated Stella Stevens really was.
