I’m not what you call a dog person. I don’t own a dog, nor do I feel much warmth in my heart when I see one scampering down the streets at the end of a leash. I’ve always harbored the suspicion that many owners proudly parade their pets with the express intention of striking up conversation with other hound owners in order to get laid.
As a moviegoer I’ve been subjected to plenty of dogs over the years- and some even feature the four-legged variety. Let’s face it: if you have a kid or are friends with people who have kids- or just plain kidnapped one- eventually you will be forced to sit through a movie about a mutt.
When my parents dragged me to see the Disney classic Old Yeller, I was actually overjoyed when they shot the dog because that meant that the movie would be over soon and I could go home and finish the horror short story I had been working on, appropriately called Torture Me Gently.
Through the years I have softened to canine cinema, having had some merry times watching their flea-bitten adventures, their heroic and heartwarming antics push aside more credible screen performances. I particularly like movies that feature animals in extreme peril- dogs trapped between gorges on burning logs, or pressed up against boulders as they face down ferocious bears or snarling cougars- and my heart always skips a beat as I watch our wagging friends frantically run through forests as they dodge hunter’s bullets.
But there’s nothing that brings a lump in my throat and a pang in my heart then a movie about a killer dog. Watching a pet transform into a snarling, teeth-baring, ferocious beast is ultimately so satisfying to all of us who have had to suffer through endless “cute” photos of friends’ pets through the years.
You’ve got to admire Cujo (1983), based on a Stephen King novel. First of all, the dog is a St. Bernard, which is almost impossible to think of as frightening. Carrying a little keg of alcohol around his neck, yes. But ripping a man’s face off? Big old, shaggy Cujo gets bit on the snout by a rabid bat and becomes a foaming, snarling, rampaging beast, trapping a mother (Dee Wallace) and her son in a hot car, with no way to exit. The fact that the film kept such a slim premise going for 90 minutes is thanks to Lewis Teague’s masterful direction and an astronomical, fearless performance by Dee Wallace.
The Pack (1977). I really admire this because of the incredible animal training by Karl Lewis Miller, not to mention starring Walking Tall’s Joe Don Baker as a Marine Biologist (!). It’s set on Seal Island, a vacationer’s paradise where tourists selfishly leave their animals when they return to the mainland. The hungry, scared dogs band together into a feral pack and attack and devour whole horses and eventually go after the remaining humans on the island. One poor woman, pursued through the woods by the animals, takes shelter in an abandoned barn only to wake and discover that she is in the dogs’ lair and they are swarming around her with fangs bared.
One of the great dog revenge movies has to be the extraordinary White God (2014). It’s about a little girl searching Budapest for her lost mutt Hagen (who her mean father just let out of the car in a remote section of town). This poor animal’s incredible, terrible journey- chased by dogcatchers; captured and brutally trained for dog fighting- sets you up for the movie’s finale with hundreds of dogs (led by Hagen) rampaging through the streets causing havoc. This should probably be retitled “Lassie Gets Even.”
The Breed (2006) is about a bunch of privileged college students who fly in a private plane to a deserted island where there is a gorgeous lodge that was once owned by the grandfather of two brothers traveling with them. The kids drink plenty of margaritas and party hard until they realize the lodge is surrounded by some scientifically engineered dogs that first separate the plane from the dock and then prevent the kids from leaving the main house without getting torn apart. (One even sneaks down to the basement and shuts off the fuse box to lure another victim to his doom). And anyone who gets bit by a canine starts to exhibit a weird emotional transformation. A nice cast (Oliver Hudson, Michelle Rodriguez, Taryn Manning, Hill Harper, etc) makes this nicely nerve-wracking until a stupid jump-scare “surprise” ending ruins it all.
One of my favorites has to be Zoltan- Dracula’s Dog (1977), a ludicrously entertaining supernatural entry about a Doberman Pinscher turned into a vampire by the Dracula clan. A family on vacation traveling in a Winnebago with their two kids and two German Shepherds run smack into Zoltan, the vampire dog and his protector (weird-faced Reggie Nadler). Jose Ferrar plays the “Van Helsing” role trying to save the family and there is a cool scene at a shack under attack by Zoltan and the other mutts he has bitten and infected. Scenes of Dracula’s Romanian crypt were shot in L.A.’s Griffith Park.
White Dog (1982) Samuel Fuller’s incendiary film about racist conditioning in America was shelved by Paramount Studios fearing blowback from the NAACP. It wasn’t until The Film Forum in NYC showed it in 1991 that it get a proper release. It’s based on a non-fiction book by Romain Gary. Gary was married to actress Jean Seberg at the time, and her vocal support of the Black Panthers caused her to be a target of the FBI. In the film, Kristie McNichol plays Julie Sawyer, an actress who accidently hits a big white dog while driving at night. She takes him to a vet and leaves fliers searching for the animal’s owner but ends up happily keeping him. Then, to her horror she realizes it is an attack dog that repeatedly goes after black people. She brings it to an animal trainer (Paul Winfield) who is determined to de-program the animal despite his boss’s (Burl Ives) warning, “Nobody can unlearn a dog.” It’s an excellent film, with a great moody score by Ennio Morricone. Superb dog trainer Karl Lewis Miller is responsible for the excellent stunt work- he doubles here as a rapist who attacks Julie at home and comes under attack from “white dog.”
Dogs (1977) The Man from U.N.C.L.E.’s David McCallum plays the grumpy, bearded, beer-swilling head of the biology department at a Southwest University. He investigates some unexplained cattle mutilations and comes to the conclusion that they might be neighborhood dogs banding together at night to kill. “Something is causing domestic dogs to pack and kill,” he warns the Mayor but no one listens until there is a pet show at the school and parents and their children all are attacked by their own mutts. (A secret government facility nearby is hinted to be responsible). Poor Linda Gray (Dallas) is violently assaulted in her own shower by a Doberman. (Norman Bates with paws). There are creepy moments when the dogs make this collective eerie cry in the night. A mass invasion by dogs on the college campus turns into a real bloodbath. A surprisingly above-average, effective little shocker.
Man’s Best Friend (1993) Ally Sheedy plays Lori, a TV journalist who sneaks into the mysterious secret laboratory at the corporation called “E-Max” and videotapes the hideous animal experiments going on. She frees a large dog named Max who follows her home when she is chased by the evil head scientist Dr. Jarret (Lance Henriksen). But this dog is a genetic crossbreed with heightened sight, strength, speed and smarts. It chews through the brake lining of Lori’s boyfriend’s car. It chases a cat up a tree and swallows it whole. It buries a mauled mailman under the house. The song “Puppy Love” is used for ironic purposes in this satisfying action thriller.
Baxter (1989) A uniquely bizarre film from France directed by Jerome Boivin about a brooding, hateful dog- a bull terrier bad seed. His inner monologues as we follow him through a series of owners (a frightened old woman; a randy newlywed couple; and a Nazi-obsessed boy) are mordantly funny in creepy ways. Benji this isn’t.
Play Dead (1981) Rich Aunt Hester (Yvonne De Carlo) uses black magic to bewitch a Rottweiler named “Greta” in order to wipe out her relatives. Wearing a mink coat and driving a Rolls Royce, Hester still holds a grudge because her lover ran off with her sister. So now it’s time for her niece and nephew (and their friends and lovers) to pay. The dog is quite creative in his kills- electrocution, car mishaps, the dog even wraps a chain around a tree choking someone to death. The Drano dumped in a glass of Alka-Seltzer is my favorite bit of canine trickery.
Prey (1999) Spanish thriller starring Paula del Rio as Elena, a quadriplegic after an auto accident in which her sister Vera was killed. Her father (Miguel Angel Jenner) brings her home to his remote country house which he has outfitted for her wheelchair and even gotten a service animal- a German Shepherd named Athos- to assist her. But everything goes wrong instantly. Her father has a massive heart attack bringing in the luggage from the car and Athos gets bitten by a bat which turns him rabid. It’s a mutt version of Monkey Shines. Poor Elena has to fend off a vicious dog with only one serviceable, but weak, hand, while being haunted by visions of her dead sister and her guilt because she was behind the wheel of the car that killed her.
Dogs of Hell (1983) The operative words are “dog” (of a movie) and “hell” (to sit through). This is one of the six 3-D movies produced by Earl Owensby, who also stars here as the heroic local Sheriff of a mountain resort town called Lake Lure (“America’s Mountain Playground”). Bad old Government scientists train a pack of Rottweilers to be killers. Transporting the dogs by truck there is a fiery crash and the dogs escape and attack everyone on Moonshine Mountain, where the folks are either talking about “fishing” or “fucking.” The local bar even has female mud wrestling. About as much fun as the night before a colonoscopy.
The Pack (2015) Supremely suspenseful survival tale out of Australia about a sheep farmer (Jack Campbell), his veterinarian wife (Anna Lise Phillips) and their two kids (Katie Moore & Hamish Phillips), who one night come under siege from a roving pack of murderous mongrels. One of the IFC Midnight selections, this is expertly directed by Nick Robertson and it superbly captures the claustrophobic sense of isolation and danger. It really is genuinely scary.
To Kill a Clown (1972) “Hawkeye” turns homicidal! Affable Alan Alda, who transitioned from theater to movies and TV, best known for his sardonic portrayal of Captain Benjamin Franklin “Hawkeye” Pierce on the long-running CBS show M*A*S*H, plays a deranged Vietnam veteran in this oddball psychological thriller. An asshole artist and sometime clown (Heath Lamberts) and his whiny wife (Blythe Danner) rent a seaside cottage from Major Evelyn Ritchie (Alan Alda), who uses walking sticks to get around and has two highly trained Dobermans. He starts out friendly but eventually terrorizes the hapless couple, using his snarling dogs to keep them in line. Forcing the artist to senselessly carry rocks on the beach he has an angry tantrum when he sees him shirtless. “Put your shirt on!” he commands, “Button it up. Every single button. Buttoned, buttoned! There were wild savages roaming this country before buttons came. This country is founded on buttons. The United States of America is what it is because of buttons!” Needless to say, it all ends in unbuttoned tragedy. But not near as tragic as having to sit through it.
Night of the Wild (2015) Gory, stupid, SyFy Channel TV-movie about green meteorites that fall from the sky and cause all the dogs to kill their masters. Starring Rob Morrow, Kelly Rutherford and Tristin Mays, the film devolves into endless carnage with body parts blanketing Main Street. As much as I get a kick out of dog attacks on film this is overkill. And it’s directed by Eric Red (who wrote the great screenplays for The Hitcher and Near Dark). That depressed me. The bleak finale reminds me of the ending Alfred Hitchcock originally envisioned for The Birds. So glad he didn’t go with it.
Trapped (1973) Before James Brolin had to deal with haunted houses (The Amityville Horror), driverless demonic vehicles (The Car), or even Barbra Streisand, he was in this film (also known as Doberman Patrol), where he is trapped in a massive department store at night (after getting mugged and knocked out in the bathroom) and comes under attack from six Doberman Pinscher guard dogs. Although why you would let all these large animals run wild, shitting and pissing all over your store at night, baffles me. Poor Brolin is rescued strapped to a high railing in the sporting goods department, clutching a dumb doll for his daughter in this eye-rolling TV movie.
They Only Kill Their Masters (1972) Alright- big spoiler alert- if you haven’t seen this incredibly enjoyable mystery/comedy don’t read on. It stars laid-back, genial, James Garner as Abel, the Police Chief of a California coastal town investigating the murder of a woman. Her body washes up on shore and, at first, it looks like her pet Doberman- Murphy, mauled her to death. But the pooch is innocent. Abel ends up with the Doberman as his pet, not to mention romancing the beautiful gal from the veterinarian office (Katharine Ross). But the killer turns out to be the wife of the vet, a crazed lesbian, played by, of all people, June Allyson. Her name doesn’t even appear in the opening credits, so it’s supposed to be a surprise reveal. But Allyson was the sweetheart of MGM musicals with her wide infectious smile and good cheer. To see her in a short, mannish haircut, wearing a dirty sweatshirt, and trying to kill nice James Garner makes you doubt the existence of God.
A Dog Called…Vengeance (1978) Jason Miller gives a fearless (and full-frontal) performance as a political prisoner in a nightmarish work camp in Central America, the country suffering under a brutal dictatorship. He escapes and goes on the run but is relentlessly followed by a vicious guard dog. Think Les Miserables but with a pooch instead of Javert. Marisa Paredes (High Heels) plays a gun-toting guerilla fighter (she was married to the director Antonio Isasi at the time). Shot not long after the Franco regime, this Spanish action film must have been pretty daring at the time. Shot in Venezuela, Miller has an amazing scene when he is attacked by the dog while swimming nude and fights it off on the shore with his fists. There’s a notice at the opening of the film that “ensures none of the animals involved were harmed in the making of the film.” The dog scenes are pretty intense.
Devil Dog: The Hound from Hell (1978) My favorite of all “evil dog” movies is director Curtis Harington’s made-for-TV movie about a family who gets a puppy that is a part of a litter of demon pups. The fabulous Martine Beswick is seen at the beginning with a coven of Satanists chanting over a female German Shepherd they transform into an evil entity called “Barghest.” Richard Crenna and Yvette Mimieux play the loving parents of young Charlie (Ike Eisenmann) and Bonnie (Kim Richards) who take home a sweet puppy to replace the family dog recently run over by a car. But the maid Maria takes one look and starts clutching her crucifix. “He gives me a scary feeling all over,” she says. Sure enough, one night the puppy’s eyes turn green and within no time Maria is set afire by her votive candles. The mother turns all sexual and hard-hearted. The dog even tries to will the father to put his hand into the blade of the lawn mower. Even the kids are changed- lying, stealing and nightly chanting in the attic over a candle-lit circle and drawing paintings in blood of a three-eyed devil. It’s up to the dad to travel to Ecuador and seek a holy man to tattoo a combative charm into the palm of his hand. When asked about the film, Curtis Harrington admitted, “The script was ridiculous.” And I thank God for that.
There are plenty of films interspersed with scenes of disturbing dogs. The shape-shifting canine in John Carpenter’s The Thing; the mutt transforming into a zombie dog in Demons 2; the vicious Rottweiler in Don’t Breathe; the creepy canine with the man’s head in Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978); the service dog unexpectedly ripping out the throat of the blind man in Suspiria; the mutant dog attack in Resident Evil; the masked ball in The Mephisto Waltz when Barbara Parkins marches into the party with her dog wearing the mask of a man’s head; the trained, bank-robbing dogs from The Doberman Gang and Those Daring Dobermans; not to mention the many incarnations on screen of The Hound of the Baskervilles.
If you are still thinking about getting a pet, get some goldfish, for God’s sake.
I don’t ever want to see a Doberman in my life again…..I’m scared.
This is great!!!!
xxJulia
I went barking mad after reading this post.