Hollywood Thanksgiving

            When I think “Thanksgiving,” I think “pancreas.” It was on that celebratory November day back in the early 70s when, after partaking of a memorably delicious Thanksgiving with friends, my pancreas literally exploded and I was rushed to a hospital where I was listed in critical condition for nearly a week. So, it’s not surprising that I approach that special day with a certain amount of trepidation, and react with suspicious alarm any time my stomach rumbles after a second helping of stuffing. 

            You really can’t win on Thanksgiving. You have to scramble on a standing-room-only train and travel untold miles to spend the day making small talk with a roomful of relatives you have absolutely nothing in common with. Not to mention the horror of gathering around the TV to watch hellish sports-related programs while waiting for the goddamn 200-pound turkey to finish cooking.

            But I always get a kick out of those classic Hollywood star pictures around Thanksgiving time, with their plastered-on smiles and props of turkeys, Pilgrim hats and carving knives carefully placed in their hands. I always try to imagine how annoyed and miserable they were during those photo shoots, trying once again to boost their waning careers with another staged publicity shot. Looking at them makes me feel better about my own Thanksgiving. At least I didn’t have to stand under hot lights for hours dementedly smiling down at an overstuffed fake bird. Here are some of my favorites.