Christmas With The Stars

Are there chestnuts roasting on an open fire at your house this Christmas season? Probably not, unless you live in California and your home is ablaze. Is Jack Frost nipping at your nose? Well, call the police. Yuletide carols being sung by a choir isn’t very likely outside your apartment building unless it’s a bunch of alcoholics from the bar on the corner. And don’t get me started on “And Folks Dressed Up Like Eskimos.” Appropriation, anyone?

Wouldn’t you rather be spending your Christmas with movie stars? Like the ones in these studio press photos I have been collecting for some time. All these actors and actresses look like they are in a state of bliss, but they are probably itching to get out of those fancy duds, get in their cars and meet up with their married co-stars at some sleazy motel for a hot fuck. Or they just want to go home, kick off their shoes, and beat their children. (Adopted, or otherwise). But the following pictures inhabit another dimension- where’s it’s Christmas all the time and you are stinking rich and there are presents everywhere at your feet to tear open and then gleefully throw away. As Tennessee Williams so aptly put it in A Streetcar Named Desire, “I don’t want realism, I want magic!”