I remember hitchhiking to Connecticut to visit my father in the hospital. My mother had called to tell me that he was riddled with cancer. When I walked into his hospital room he looked up and sardonically said, “Well…
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I used to make fun of people who collected Hummel figurines or limited edition coins from the Franklin Mint, but the other day while I was walking around my apartment it struck me that so many of my prize possessions-…
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I’ve been collecting offbeat movie star autobiographies for years, but I’ll never forget the day I finally got my hands the “Holy Grail” of these type of books- I Am Not Ashamed, the ramshackle personal account of Barbara Payton, a…
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On Mother’s Day, online sites delight in posting lists of the worst movie mothers…they’re usually all the same suspects- Mommie Dearest, Carrie, Precious, Friday The 13th, Throw Momma From the Train, Psycho, etc. But mothers can be even more complicated…
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Was it Groucho Marx who said: “I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s?” Well I, sure as hell, do. But I grew up during the height of the Italian “sword and…
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Good Lord, every time you turn on the TV there’s an award show. The Oscars, The Golden Globes, Screen Actors Guild, MTV Movie Awards, the list goes on and on. Hollywood loves to congratulate itself. My favorite is the People’s…
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We’ve all worked for a sadist or lived with one. One night I woke up to find my date staring at me intently in the dark. “Let me break just one finger?” he begged, “Just one. You have nine others…”…
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I like animals alright. I had cats when I was younger. And while I did name them Maggot, Vomit and Pus, I was never intentionally cruel to them. I mean, when one of my cats was perched on my chest,…
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One of the most romantic valentines I ever received was a beautiful gift-wrapped box that opened to reveal a large, bloody cow’s heart. You can’t help loving a person who gives you something like that. After all, flowers aren’t really…
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Can your toaster kill you? I suppose if you stuck a fork in to retrieve a jammed piece of grilled bread. But, I mean, when it slips off the shelf at night and stealthily slides into your bedroom to slam…
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